Thursday, May 10, 2012

Deadliest Catch Season 8 Episode 5 Recap

"Alien Abduction"

Captain Keith is picking up the new greenhorn Chris from the airport. Monte has told him this is the best looking young kid he saw all summer. Chris tells Captain Keith he has never been on a boat, an airplane or been fishing. He is probably going to make an idiot of himself real quick. Chris' words.

On the Ramblin' Rose. Elliott is still getting low numbers and the crew is still battling the weather. Not a good sign for this episode when it starts out with Elliott. 

Elliott calls down to the crew and tells them he needs someone to come up and drive. No one moves, so he hollers at them again. I need someone to come up here and drive. One of the guys runs towards the wheelhouse, Elliott heads downstairs. Mike Rowe says one of the ships main engines refuses to engage. If Elliott can't find a fix, catching crab will be the least of his problems. One of the shifter cables snapped rendering one of the engines useless and shutting down one of the props. Mike Rowe says with one engine down, if the second one fails it's only a matter of time before it capsizes and goes down. They got it fixed.

On the Time Bandit. Captain Johnathan Hillstrand has 36 hours to catch his crab. Captain John has promised his granddaughter that he will quit smoking on her birthday. It's almost time. Four hours to go. Josh Harris has agreed to quit smoking also. Can you imagine a non smoking Time Bandit?

They pull the first pot, it looks good. At the stroke of midnight Captain Johnathan and Josh Harris take their last puff of smoke. Mike Fourtner hopes Captain John quitting smoking doesn't come back to haunt them. Captain John wants a cigarette bad.

On the Seabrooke, Captain Scott Jr is battling the worst storm of the season. He advises the crew they have to do a suicide set. He tells them to be careful and alert. Captain Scott explains a suicide set is where the weather is on the starboard side, the boat gets rocking and rolling, pots can fall and crush a guy, and he has four guys there. But they have to do it to get the crab. Mac White says there are a lot of ways to kill yourself on a crab boat. This is in the top five. After three hours, the pots are set and the men are safe.

On the Northwestern. Captain Sig Hansen has been on the crab for three straight weeks. If it keeps up, they could have an early trip home. They pull a pot with four keepers. They continue pulling low pots.

Someone I think Edgar says there are little pieces of tin foil everywhere. Captain Sig notices Edgar Hansen and Matt Bradley over at the box. He asks if they are hauling gear or what are you guys doing? They
tell him there is a rat in the box. They see where the rat has been chewing at the wood and there are little chunks of styrofoam everywhere. Matt Bradley says shhh I heard it again. LOL Captain Sig says he probably crawls inside and sleeps in my bunk and then goes outside and eats. Matt heard something squeak. Then Edgar stands up holding the rat by the tail. Exclaiming got ya! Captain Sig says no way! The rat is just kind of hanging there by his tail. Someone says look he's praying. They put the rat in a container and throw in some food. They will set him free when they hit land. They go back to hauling.

They start pulling in better pots. Captain Sig says see rats are good luck.

In Dutch harbor, Chris Scambler, the Wizard's new greenhorn, is seeing his first bald eagle. He is surprised at how big they are. Captain Keith Colburn warns the greenhorn once he steps onto the boat he will be stepping into hell. The greenhorn says he isn't scared, he will go until Captain Keith decides he doesn't want him or he decides it not for him. There is a second greenhorn Brady Quinn. Lenny Lekanoff says we got the dumb and dumber show starting again. LOL The Wizard is getting ready to go out for Red King Crab. Captain Keith thinks Brady looks he has some experience. Chris on the other hand looks like a deer in headlights. Captain Keith says the last time he brought a greenhorn up there this green, he knew he was screwed when the guys mom called and asked him who does the laundry for the boys. Maybe we can scare him into doing the job.

Back on the Time Bandit. Captain Johnathan says it's like a book, every pots a new page. The offload is in less than 24 hours. Both Josh and Captain John have gone eight hours without a cigarette. The pots have crab in them. Mike Fourtner has calculated they are making $1100 dollars an hour. He says "so quit your bitching and get to fishing".  I noticed Captain John has his Time Bandit coffee cup.  Josh Harris is still doing bait. Eddie Uwekoolani has given him the title Master Baiter of the Time Bandit. LOL Captain John says Opie season will test Josh Harris, that's what separates the men from the boys. That's when he will get the burning. Josh has a cigarette. Captain John is still holding out, no smokes for him. Go John!

Back on the Wizard. Captain Keith puts Chris on deck and keeps Brady off so there aren't two greenhorns on deck in the bad weather. Chris Scambler has never been on a boat before. What was Monte thinking? Chris says a 9-5 is looking pretty good right now.  Captain Keith says he doesn't know if Chris even knows he's on the Bering Sea. He might be thinking this is an Alien Abduction and is waiting for the scientific experiments to start. Captain Keith would love to see this work, but he's not holding his breath.

Back on the Seabrooke they start pulling pots. They look pretty good. I wonder how far away Elliott is lurking? Mack says they are not human they are like robots. They have been out for four months. There is an alarm going off in the wheelhouse. The pistons in one of the two main engines have frozen. An impossible fix at sea. They have to head back. Captain Scott says this is one of the things he fears most fishing Blue Crab and having a major breakdown like this, so far away.

Back on the Northwestern Edgar is making coffee. The guys are coming up to the window and Edgar is handing them coffee. Nick says boss do you think I can get a mocha? Edgar hollers order up! Just like Starbucks. LMAO Matt Bradley walks up and says do you have any soy milk? Edgar slams the window shut in his face. Back to commercial. Wait I'm not sure if that was part of the show or a commercial. Very funny but strange. If that was a commercial I don't know what it was for. 

On the Wizard. Day two for the greenhorns. Captain Keith is calling Monte Colburn to see if the greenhorns were a practical joke? Monte wants to know what it is that he doesn't like that he sees. I didn't say that he was a direct descendant of Superman. Captain Keith informs him that Chris has never even seen the ocean, he has never even been on an airplane. Monte says he wouldn't have sent him up there if he didn't think the guy had a shot. Captain Keith says okay.

They start pulling pots. Captain Keith says by day three they should have a good read of what these guys are made of. The first pot has 55 crab. The rest of the crew are instructing the greenhorns with every step. They are averaging 50 a pot. One of the greenhorns goes down, he appears to be okay. Then without warning greenhorn Chris walks off deck. He is shedding his gear saying he is trying to get past the fear, that mental block. He doesn't think this could be the life for him. He goes to the wheelhouse. On the way to the wheelhouse I noticed a sign. "Keep calm and fish on".

Chris tells Captain Keith he doesn't know if he can continue. He is terrified. Captain Keith says what do you mean? You are halfway through your first shift. You're looking for an excuse to walk off this deck. It ain't happening. Go do your job, do it well. This is where you stand up and find out what you are made of. Then he pulls the daddy card. Think about two things. Do I want my daughters to look at their daddy in the future and say daddy is a quitter and two are you going to walk off deck and leave those other six guys stranded? You are in the Bering Sea on one of the worst jobs on the planet. You signed up for it. Chris walks off. Captain Keith smacks his hands to his head and says I can't believe this.

Chris is back in the forepeak getting geared up. Captain Keith says Monte is dead, because he was defensive that this guy looked good to him. Captain Keith says if this guy had a bruise he would want to get medevaced. Chris doesn't want his daughters to think of him as a quitter. Captain Keith says we will drive him to do the job. I'm going to laugh my butt off if this guy ends up working out. But I'm pretty sure one of the two greenhorns gets medevaced off. The one that is the wrestler/fighter. 

Northwestern 110,300
Seabrooke 98,650
Kodiak 82,250
Time Bandit 75,500
Ramblin' Rose 52,000
Wizard 0

Copyright © 2011 Virtualpatti. All Rights Reserved.


  1. Oh! So I guess Tubby Keith asked himself if he wants his kids to think of their dad as The Bering Sea A$$hole who chokes cameraman because he is too lazy to walk his BIG FAT A$$ down the steps to make coffee. Do I want my kids to look at my dad in the future and say he's a BULLY??? He chokes his staff! Tubby Keith, don't pass judgement on people and speculate what their kids think until your perfect, You COWARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  2. Thank's again! I read every week your "blog?".

  3. What's up with the picture of the tiger?

    1. What? You don't like my tiger? LOL

  4. Capt. Keith had to feel like an ass when Chris Scambler collapsed and DID need a medivac! Since he is so superstitious, he must know he jinxed the poor kid!

    1. Right? I knew one of the greenhorns went down but wasn't sure which one.

      I'm still waiting to see what happened with that medevac, most of the reports were pretty vague.

  5. No!!!!!!!! I like your tiger!!!! Just thought it must have a special significance. ( In some cultures tigers represent strength) I remember you implied you were a dancer. We all know J.H. is your favorite capt. (Not to leave out Andy) So why the picture of the tiger and not ballet shoes, or your Hillstrand boys? Just curious not critical!!!! Never critical of you oh Rant!!!!!!!!

    1. You're too funny! I didn't take it as critical. LMAO

      I just love cats and tigers. I found the picture one day and really liked it.

      And for the record I love Capt John but Andy is my favorite. I still want him to beat John in the contest. No one has won yet. Go Andy!

  6. Ahhhhh! So that's the story of Oh Tiger and oh Rant!!!!! I will be able sleep better know! LOL!!!! Really? Capt. Andy is your fav. I always thought it was J.H.!!!!!!

    1. LMAO That's the story. Glad you can sleep better now. Guess you should of asked sooner. LOL

      Yep Love the Hillstrands but Andy's always been my favorite. :) But you know I will stand up for Johnathan.

    2. I like Keith, as I do all the Captains, I understand his type of personality. Yes he can be aggressive at times but if he is not getting what he needs from the crew or on board cameramen then he is within his right to lay down the law. In the end every life on that Vessel is his responsibility and that is a huge burden to bare, I feel his outbursts are a release for his stress and anxiety. Time and time again he ends up on the crab, and everyone on board leaves with a great paycheck, if it were so bad, they wouldnt return. All in all I feel he has a good heart, you can tell by the way he reacts to injuries and emergencies...If he were a truly heartless person he would have little or no reaction.

  7. I like Keith, I understand his type,yes he is particular about how he runs his vessel and can come off like a bully, but I believe that is just his stress and anxiety surfacing. He wants to make money and he wants his crew to do the same, if it were so miserable on the wizard, deck hands wouldnt return...time and time again Keith lands on the have to give credit where it is due.

  8. Well they do say one person's trash is another person's gold. I am not a Tubby Keith fan. As a Captain, He still is NOT given permission to put his hands on ANYONE!!! Wanting to make money is good! But violently putting his hands on another person is not. Maybe Capt. Chub Chub might find crab, but he ALWAYS needs more staff each season. HMMMMM, I wonder why? When you are in charge of someone's life that is all the more reason why you need to control your behavior and act like a leader not a BULLY.


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