Police shocked a naked man with a stun gun (he was wearing shoes) after he allegedly followed a ten year old girl.
According to the police report he told the officers that he was "a higher power than Jesus Christ" and the "reincarnation of his grandfather, Bob Marley." The man also said he had been hit with the "Lord's lightning gun." I guess that would be the stun gun? Yep he was Baker Acted.
A report was issued that a doctor was accidentally strangled by an electronic neck massager on Christmas eve.
A man carrying a toy gun was shot and killed by the police.
An elderly woman got attacked by an alligator.
A 19 year old boy got bit by a shark.
And apparently eye whitening is a new thing.
Illinois (which is not local, but made our news) is on fire this week. Today a man found $150,000 in his garden. Yesterday PCH awarded $1,000,000 to someone there. I guess they got way lost coming to my house.
I am missing important stuff not watching the news. I tell you what.
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