Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Big Brother After Dark Recap September 6, 2011

The Sorceress speaks and she is named Crystal! But first...

Oh no Rachel is at the grill. She's going to cook salmon. This is scary. 

She was talking about driving last night and how many wrecks she has been in because she wasn't paying attentions. I'm thinking Rachel and propane isn't a good mix. Especially since she has already caused stuff to be burned on the grill.

Adam Poch and Jordan Lloyd are sitting on the couch discussing things that have happened in the house. Jordan asked Adam what he said when he came in the house. Nothing important. Just chit chat.

Rachel can't get the grill started. Adam is helping her. The grill is out of gas.

Rachel is going in the house with her half cooked salmon and found another bee almost dead. LOL Jordan, kill it. If you feel the need to save it put it in a plant. It wants alone time. That fish stinks!

Rachel is going to fry the salmon. She put and entire stick of butter in the pan and a bunch of Tabasco. I mean she finished off one bottle and added two thirds of another bottle to the pan. That is the recipe for hot wings. She melted half the butter and took the half melted stick out.

Rachel said she is getting pimples. Porsche asked if she was going to have her period? She said she just had it. Thank goodness that kid would have had AFS for sure at the rate she was drinking.

Porsche goes in the purple room. The sorceress comes on and says "hello Porsche". Porsche, screams come here! Come here! to Rachel. Rachel runs in. Porsche, say something else. Rachel, maybe she only wanted to talk to you. Sorceress, Hello ladies. Rachel, hi sorceress. Sorceress, please gather everyone into the room now. Rachel and Porsche go running and screaming for the others.

Rachel remembered to turn the fish off on the way back in. They are all in front of the sorceress now. Sorceress, Hello everyone. Greetings house guests. I am Crystal the Big Brother Fortune Teller. I am having a premonition. The winner of Big Brother is in the room with me right now. Rachel, OMG! Who? Crystal, The next time you hear my laugh you have one minute to come to my parlor for a reading. After every fortune you must leave my presence. Miss any of my predictions and you won't be winning HOH. Porsche, what does your laugh sound like? Rachel, What does you laugh sound like? She does an imitation. Crystal, Leave! Be Gone! Adam, wow you could have asked nicely.

This is looking like it is going to be an all night event.

Adam, I don't even want to go outside now.

Then he goes outside with Jordan. Jordan, it would have to do it when we're up. Because if we are sleeping we aren't going to hear it. Adam, you'll have to get up and go running. I think if I was in the house I would be pulling an all nighter to try and win HOH. They go to commercial.

They come back from commercial. Everyone is in front of the Crystal, mid sentence, When her book how I created the perfect tan and how you tan too reaches number three on the all time best seller list. Leave me now.

Jordan sitting on the bar in the kitchen, In 2018. Kalia and Porsche are repeating it in the bathroom.

Adam is telling Jordan what Crystal said again.

Crystal, In 2017 after the hot Miami sun becomes too much for her to bear, Porsche will move to Anchorage Alaska and buy an igloo with an Eskimo named Ernie.

The first part of the first one was in 2018 Shelly will make millions when...

Porsche and Kalia are repeating the second one wrong they keep saying when the hot Miami sun. That could mess them up in a true false comp. One little word.

Gross Rachel just coughed all over the fish without even attempting to cover her mouth.

Rachel finally has the fish cooked, she says kinda good kind of not.

Crystal, In 2014 Jeff will disappear from society, he will be last seen wondering the Chicago streets muttering only two words. Clown Shoes.

Rachel says just remember the years and the names. I don't think that will be enough. Rachel isn't repeating any of them back correctly. I wonder if that is on purpose. Jordan, now Kalia really has to go. I was thinking the same thing Kalia is probably good at remembering lines.

Now Rachel is making fried chicken. I don't know who she is doing all this cooking for.

Porsche thinks Adam is inside helping Jordan. Kalia said Adam won't do well, remember when they were feeding him his lines for veto.

Jordan, it's me and you Adam. Do you have a pretty good memory? Adam, pretty good but it's going to get confusing is they start using the same names and dates. Adam, you definitely can't keep Kalia now.

They can hear Crystal outside so they don't have to stay inside.

Come back from commercial Crystal is mid sentence again. At 3:49 pm they will go back to not speaking. Leave me now! Leave my parlor room.

Kalia repeats, On October 15, 2011 at 3:42 pm Daniele will reconcile with her father Dick. On October 15, 2011 at 3:49 pm they will go back to not speaking.

Crystal, In 2014 after sleeping for nineteen straight days and making national headlines in a sleep study. Kalia will earn her dream job as a mattress and pillow tester.

Every time after Crystal speaks they gather into their groups and repeat the sayings.

LOL Kalia is in the storage room repeating the lines. She  has the wording all twisted up.

Crystal, In 2016 Lawon will take NY fashion week by storm when he launches his hamsomfied line of hats, ties and jackets.

Mid sentence after commercial. Crystal, after discovering the cure for an aliment that plagued him his entire life. Athletes foot. That had to be Brendon. 

Rachel, Nine years after earning his PHD he will shock scholars and physicians alike by finding a cure... They didn't give a year.

Kalia is marking pages in The Bible to keep track.

If they have to remember the exact phrase this group is in trouble. I don't think any of them are remembering them exact. And the house guests don't think they have to they just need to remember key words.

Crystal, In 2020 Adam will file for bankruptcy after investing all his life savings into a line of bacon scented heavy metal teddy bears for children.

Kalia what was it before bacon scented. She was trying to remember "a line" Porsche was it a business venture? Kalia, no it was something else.

Kalia to Rachel. Remember Adam and Jordan they had to keep feeding them their lines. This is what I do. I memorize lines all day. Well she's not very good at it. She has most of the words but it's not the same.

Porsche is telling Rachel it was business adventure by the way. Kalia saying things and asking me, and she is saying the wrong things. I was like stop! Rachel, somebodies a little smarter than they lead.

Crystal, In 2018 Rachel will give birth to a 9lb 6oz bouncing baby boy, naming it Bookie Jr after it's proud father.

Crystal, In 2012 Cassi will land a role along side international mega star David Hasselhoff in the countrified Baywatch reboot River Watch.

Crystal, In 2015 Evel Dick will start a Christmas tradition by bringing gifts to heavily tattooed orphans. Changing his name from Evel Dick to Old Saint Dick.

Crystal, In 2013 Dominic will grace the cover of Seventeen Magazine with the headline Total Dom A Nation. He'll dethrone pop sensation Justin Bieber as America's favorite heart throb.

The last few were back to back, just gave them long enough to go sit down somewhere else in the house.

Crystal, In 2015 Keith will land a job hosting a new dating show called Love Rejection, but it will be short lived after it's revealed he tried to date all 29 female contestants.

They must have showed Daniele's during the commercial. She was 2011. I don't know what the rest of the phrase was yet. Commercial again.

Crystal, In 2011 after the run away success of the humilitard Jordan will launch a line of humiliard inspired items including a humili card, a humilifier and a humili baked oven.

Now Porsche and Rachel are cutting up Musk melon. Kalia is eating what looks like cake. Rachel is testing Kalia and Porsche as they are cutting the musk melon. So now she knows they know all the sayings too. They all seem to have the keywords and years, but not the exact wording. That's where they will hang them up if it's true false.

At least there was something more interesting going on tonight.

Copyright © 2011 Virtualpatti. All Rights Reserved.

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