Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Deadliest Catch Season 7 Episode 15 - I Smell A Nightmare

"I Smell A Nightmare"

It’s almost the end of the season. Another storm is coming with 60 knot winds.

Captain Sig Hansen is wondering if they can get anything done let alone fish. Nick Mavar says I smell a nightmare, it doesn’t look good.

Captain Scott Campbell Jr of the Seabrook is getting ready to leave port he has a tight deadline to meet. He says cowboy up, put your big girl panties on, it’s gonna be a gnarly ride boys.

Captain Wild Bill on the Kodiak is gonna call the cannery and try to get an extra day.

360 miles northwest of Dutch Harbor is the Time Bandit. Captain Andy Hillstrand is trying to pull his gear really fast. He says time is the enemy right now. After five weeks of shutdowns and injuries Captain Andy finally lands on the mother lode. They have been working twenty hours straight, they’re going to work another eight hours and then sleep for two. Captain Andy says this whole year we haven’t slept at all. Justin Tennison is tired and cranky. The crew gets a twenty minute nap. Captain Andy, if I have to keep them up for 24 hours, sleep four and then work another 32 that’s what we do. The boys are taking a twenty minute nap in the forepeak.

They have one string left to pull. Justin is still in a mood. He’s throwing the hook to pull in the next pot. Captain Andy throws a seal bomb out on deck. He says hey J.T. good morning to ya. Justin Tennison, glad you are having fun. I’d be doing a lot better if a seal bomb didn’t go off my ear.

Mike Fourtner, easy turbo. Justin Tennison, he’s got something to say about everything. Mike Fourtner, are you pissing and moaning? Are you kidding me? Justin Tennison, yeah I am. Mike Fourtner, are you pissing right now? Do you want to cry me a river buttercup? Oh my good lord. Screaming we got a crybaby on the deck. Justin, you run your mouth all the time. Mike Fourtner, you throw one string a day and think you are doing something. Captain Andy, dude really? Seriously? Justin, I throw more than once a day. Mike Fourtner, throw a temper tantrum. Now in Justin’s face, you’ve got an attitude knock it off right now. Grow up! Justin, get out of my face. Mike, grow up! Captain Andy, hey John check this out. Mike, grow up and act like a man you’re 34 act like it. Captain Andy hey hey knock it off. Mike Fourtner, yeah act like it. I will treat you like a sixteen year old if you keep acting like it. I’m just telling yeah. Captain Andy, I don’t think Justin takes to being yelled at either. You might wanna mention that to Fourtner. Fourtner, you come out on deck with a horrible attitude every morning. You’re like a teenage girl, you go through bigger mood swings I swear.

Captain Andy, get away from each other. Captain John Hillstrand they should have switched to decaf. Captain Andy, dude it’s like three in the morning they are tired. Eddie Uwekoolani, Sr. thinks it’s funny. Scott Hillstrand, can we go back to crab fishing now? Someone screams grow up. I don’t know about you guys but Mike Fourtner reminded me of the drill sergeant in Full Metal Jacket.

345 miles northwest of Dutch Harbor. Captain Elliot Neese of the Rambling Rose hauls his last string of the season. He’s wearing those headphones on top of his head and not on his ears again. I swear it reminds me of The Fly everytime. Bug eyes. Everyone is ready to go home. They’re pushing pots. All of a sudden the hydro’s go out. Why were they pushing pots before the hydro’s went out? Captain Elliot goes down to the engine room. The compressor is burned out. He tells the deckhands the main compressor is broke. He might be able to rig something together to make it work for the time being. He wants to attach a portable compressor to the main compressor and see if that will work. If it doesn’t work they will have to return to Saint Paul Harbor. The crew doesn’t think it will work. But it does at least for the time being. But he still has 200 pots to haul.

25 miles east on the Time Bandit. Captain Andy hasn’t slept in 34 hours. Justin Tennison out on deck is still complaining. Justin, he wants to keep running his mouth over some stupid.. if he puts his hands on me again bleep bleep. Mike Fourtner, we’re all tired,and hurting, and soar so cry me a river and get over it.

Captain Andy Hillstrand, this will be the best year I’ve had financially in ten years. All of a sudden the line comes out of the block, flies up in the air and circles around Scott Hillstrand and Mike Fourtner. Captain Andy is screaming look out! look out the lines out of the block. They jump over the line and throw it overboard. Mike Fourtner, catlike reflexes were in order. Scotty, I’m starting to think we have nine lives. Mike Fourtner, I have used three of them this year alone. Captain Andy, I have never seen it in twenty years.

They have pulled 120 pots today over 90,000lbs. They’re tired but happy. Mike and Justin make up.

Far north of the rest of the fleet the wizard. Mike Rowe did you lose your boys? They’re just far north? 

Captain Keith Colburn is explaining the weather. When you have a low pressure system and a high pressure system, the low pressure system turns counter clockwise, the high pressure system turns clockwise, and you have that section right between the two storms where the clockwise wind meets the counter clockwise wind and it creates a funnel so you get twice as much wind. That would be where we’re at. Captain Keith, we need to be as careful as possible, but at the same time I need to find some place to set this gear on. After that I have a hunch we’re probably going to be shut down. I should be shut down right now as bad as it is.

Freddy Maughtai is up on top of the pots. Captain Keith, right now we just have to get this gear off of here. The most dangerous spot on the boat is up high. This is going to be along five hour set, I’ll tell you that right now. I’m sitting on a 155ft. boat that weighs over 2,000,000lbs. and we’re like a little cork out here in the middle of nowhere it’s amazing how insignificant and how small you feel once you start dealing with Mother Nature. It’s kinda scary.

Captain Keith screams hang on as they get hit with a wave of green water. Gary Soper, Mother Nature’s saying what’s up Soapy? I’m gonna get you a one of these days.

50 miles to the south on the Cornelia Marie. Josh Harris is cooking breakfast in the galley. He made biscuits. They look good. Josh, I was told they could eat the bleep off of a charging rhino right now.

Captain Tony Lara, I think either of them are capable of taking over eventually. They both need some more experience. Captain Tony goes down to the galley and tells Jake Harris we’re going to start stacking these out. Do you want to haul the first string?

Jake Harris goes up to the wheelhouse. Captain Tony shows him which string to haul, tells him have fun and leaves the wheelhouse. Captain Tony goes out to work on the rail. Josh Harris, this should be interesting. It’s been six years since Tony has been on deck.

Jake Harris, usually the captain shouldn’t be out there. Nobody’s gonna say anything to the captain he’s just gonna run around with this head cut off trying to do stuff.

Ryan Simpson, Tony should be just fine it should be like riding a bicycle you know. Josh Harris, knock on wood. Captain Tony throws the hook like a pro. The pot comes up with dirty crab and Bairdi crab. Tony bangs the hook on the rail, he wants the boat to go faster. Jake Harris obliges. Captain Tony was throwing a coil of rope or shot into the pot and hurt himself. He doubled over. I’m not sure if he hurt his hand or something in his belly or groin. He says I think I just pulled something. Ryan Simpson whispers skipper down. Dale Pruitt, get that on tape, man down. The skipper moans and says he’s out of shape. Josh Harris Shakes his head and says make it known the captain I don’t care how gifted you were fifteen years ago stay up there and will stay down here.

Captain Tony is in the forepeak removing gear, he’s looking at is arm and says it’s bad, the muscle moved up. Mike Rowe, while loading the 120lb. shot Captain Tony tore his bicep. Oww! Dale Pruitt, he didn’t do good out here about six innings pitched, we normally pitch about 25. He didn’t quite cut the mustard. Hey, at least he came out and tried to help, rather than leave the guys short handed. He gets points in my book for that. And of the shots we seen he did a pretty good job throwing the hook. Tony goes up to the wheelhouse and tells Jake I didn’t back spool the wench but I broke me. Captain Tony shows Josh his arm. Josh says all right. Tony says it hurts I am going downstairs to change. Josh Harris, definitely short lived. Poor Tony.

350 miles northwest of Dutch Harbor on the Rambling Rose. The jury rigged compressor is still running. The deck hands are in the forepeak placing bets as to how long the compressor will hold. The crew has to pull pots fast before the makeshift motor gives out. If the motor doesn’t hold the season will grind on for another six days. They are still pushing pots. 30 pots in and the compressor is still holding. 28 hours later they have just five pots to go. They should show us the name brand on that compressor. That’s a sturdy little thing. They pull the last pot everyone’s excited. Captain Elliott has a big ol’ smile on his face. He tells the crew good job.

The crew hauled 307,000lbs. Worth over $780,000.00. Each man on deck will collect $22,000.00.

390 miles northwest of Dutch Harbor is the Seabrooke. Captain Scott tells the boys don’t plan on much sleep. They have 48 hours to put 120,000lbs. on otherwise they have to wait another 7 days to offload. He says we can’t afford a bum set. Every single pot has got to count. He says it’s gonna be little sleep and no food.

Captain Scott, I’ve never missed a delivery date yet and I don’t plan on this being my first. One little break down, a little bit of weather, any little thing and we aren’t going to make it. Bob Perky, we could be heroes we could be zeros. One of the deck hands says you have always been my hero Bob. Awww.

They need an average of 250 to 300. The first pot comes up with that bottom barely covered. The second pot isn’t any better. I just noticed Captain Scott is south paw. Captain Scott is in pain he has kidney stones. Bummer. I hear that’s pretty painful. Captain Scott calls Bob Perky up to the wheelhouse to finish hauling the pots. Captain Scott goes and lies down in his bunk. Bob calls down to let the deck hands and lets them know he is at the wheel and Junior is passing a kidney stone. Bob perky, he’s been having problems with kidney stones the last for five years. Mac White, I’ve broken many bones and sprains in my time but I don’t know what compare that to.

The Crab Count

Time Bandit
Ramlin' Rose
Cornelia Marie

340 miles northwest of Dutch harbor on the Cornelia Marie. Josh Harris is in the wheelhouse. He is going to set a string of pots. Captain Tony tells Josh to pick a color for the string Josh picks red. He says when you drop the first pot you have to push the recording button to start the track line. He shows him the log book where he needs to write down the string number, the color of the string, the date, and what kind of pots they are.

Ryan Simpson, it’s easy to set gear but knowing where to place your pots that’s the tough question. Dale Pruitt, driving the boats easy, running the boat is a little different. You don’t know until you set up there. The first time you’re by yourself and there’s no one to ask questions that’s scary. I notice captain Tony often leaves the wheelhouse when he puts the boys in the captain’s chair leaving them alone.

Jake Harris, we have 40 pots on deck we’ve been out here half an hour. I don’t know if he forgot to push the button or what. He’s probably up there like please set the pot, please set the pot, just set it. Josh Harris hit’s the beeper. Jay Harris yells woo! Ryan Simpson, I don’t think he has a clue about what’s going on. That wasn’t very nice. That's your future Captain you are talking about. Captain Tony tells Josh he will leave him be. Josh Harris tells him don’t go too far. Josh says I’m out of my comfort zone a little bit but this is what I want to do. It is just scary, really scary. Up here I’ve encountered my biggest fear losing a family member. Especially my dad my hero. Aww Now I’m sitting in his chair driving his boat. I want to keep this boat fishing. That’s what I was born, bred and corn fed to do. I’m gonna make it happen.

55 miles to the north and wizard. The deck hands are howling at the full moon. I wonder if deck hands from another boat answered back? Captain Keith says the winds are starting to drop off. Right now we are just going to try and scoop up a couple, hopefully it has some crab in it. If there’s not he doesn’t know what he’s going to do. The first pot comes up light. The second pot is light too. Captain Keith says he’s pretty sure the sand fleas are wiping them out too. He asked the guys. They said it is sand fleas. Captain Keith says it’s a waste of time, energy, bait everything.

Lynn Guitard, this isn’t looking too good here. Captain Keith, the strings sucks. There’s nothing here. This deep set is a total disaster. I’m not gonna make it. With these kind of numbers I am not going to fill this boat. Sometimes it’s just not worth it. $3 million worth of business here I am $2 million in debt. I don’t know why I deal with it. The phone rings. Someone on the other end says can I talk to the producer? Captain Keith says why don’t you come over here and ask him yourself? He hangs up on him. Mike Rowe, cameraman Brad Carper interrupts Keith at exactly the wrong time.

Captain Keith, Hey Carper you don’t do bleep around here. I have asked you three times to make me a pot of coffee this season and you are too busy,  ‘cause you’re too busy sleeping. Brad Carper, too busy sleeping? Captain Keith grabs him by the collar and pushes him down the hallway screaming don’t you get in my face do you hear me? Do you understand? Brad, what was that? Keith, back off, back off. Brad, you are out of line. Captain Keith, Go to bed or go on deck. Get out of my face. Raise your voice one more time you’re going down.

Poor Captain Keith, he doesn’t like being portrayed as having a temper but yet they keep catching it on film. He just can’t get away from the cameras.

This episode is named I smell a nightmare after something Nick Marvar said and that's the only shot of the Northwestern crew we got? No Kodiak either except the one shot. Boooooooo!

Copyright © 2011 Virtualpatti. All Rights Reserved.


  1. Stress, its just stress. How many times have we seen explosions in the last few years between shipmates on this program, and captains and crew, perhaps just a bit unfortunate timing. Of course you're going to film that, Keith does have a bit of a temper so the camera crew will be waiting to pounce.
    I agree with above. Northwestern and Kodiak are my faves.

  2. Hi Kiwiviewer!

    I know they all blow up. It just cracks me up how they seem to air Captain Keith doing it more.

    If it really happened in the order they filmed it, he had just found out he was sitting in sand fleas. I'm know that has to be frustrating.

    I love almost all the boats, I wish they would show some of them all every week. :)


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